Rant/Compain

I know how you feel. .-. you can do it though, and then you can always come live with us.

I can start working when I turn 16 and save money and just go live over ther myself and I can bug the ahit out of you everyday and Kinto will be there and we'll ship Marissa there an it will just be a big giant party forever. 2 days, 3 weeks and two more years and then I can never come back
Im gonna take a nap because I have an headache now, be back around sixish

At least we'll all be happy then.
Alright.

Just got home since dickwad decided that sleeping was more important than coming to get me out of the cold so, I stood out in it for 45 minutes and, if I'm cold, that shit must be freezing, and then he gets there and work was shitty so, I'm not in the greatest mood, he starts picking and then bitched when I snap at him. I'm tired, I'm cold, I'm hungry and, my leg hurts but, I have to be Mrs. Sunshine or I have an attitude. And Thermond quit today like, no one can believe that, and I'm kind of upset since, he's one of the few people who aren't total fucking dicks and I liked working with him. And we got NO truck done because instead of doing the stuff on the truck we worked seasonal which is stuff already at the store and then got bitched at for not having any of the truck done. Well, if all our before he's time hadn't been fucking wasted on bull shit, we could have gotten done and then a bunch of people decided to just leave at nine so, by the time we got done at 12:15, well kind of sort of half assed done, there were only three people left and we couldn't get anything done because there were people in the store asking a million questions. So, today was super shitty and I'm just done...

So I have a boyfriend irl and I'm so happy being with him. I still like him.

The problem is that my ex bf made a fake fb account to to me. (My ex bf, the one that treated me like shit). So I didn't know that was him so I did something stupid and I unblocked him on fb. I told him that I have a bf. Then, he keeps disrespecting me saying that "I want to be with you", "Can we go out just a little bit". I told him that I don't want to cheat on my man then he was like "Okay bye *walks away* I'm not going to bother you anymore". I told him "Why do we have to be together and then we talk?" He said "because I still love you and I never stopped loving you". Then, I was like "Oh". Then, I told him that I have a bf and he was like "Can we raise our two daughters together?" (my rp daughters). I was like wtf.

Bad Wolf's boy drama -_______-

im posting on this board because when am i not complaining honestly
anyways i was thinking the other day and i am complete shit at friendships like im perfectly okay with not talking for months and i dont think thats really fair to anybody because a lot of people i talk to are really great and its just bitchy of me but i would do anything in the world to not be like this and to be able to have normal frequent consistent relationships with people and to not have panic attacks every five minutes god
and then i realized that honestly i dont really have anything to be alive for like im waiting for my sisters wedding in a month and then im not really sure what to do with myself im tired of waiting for things to get better and for appointments to get booked like im tired of relying on a pharmacist to make me happy because its such a bad feeling and im tired of always having to hide my body because of scars and generally im just very very very tired and i dont really know what im actually meaning to say i just hope that there's people who would miss if i were gone i guess
*~cue end of dumb stuff~*

We do miss you and like talking to you. You're always welcome here and we know you do you're best and that's all we can really ask for. You know if you need to talk you can talk to me.

idk i just feel like my best is shit at most i kinda wanna just stop existing because a lot of people would be much happier/less worried or stressed

You're my friend, and you told me you have issues so, I'm okay with that. I really don't mind. You're nice and I like talking to you. I really don't see anything wrong with you anyhow. Everyone's different. It's okay.

You need to hear this dead baby joke too cause, I've been holding onto it for weeks, okay? xD

idk idk idk everything about me is just annoying and unhealthy and unpleasant like tbh im just gross why are you my friend thats dumb

let me hear the dead baby joke

You don't like yourself but, I like you. I don't know how it works, I just like you a lot as a friend. Honestly, you're a good person and I like having you here, even if you don't see it.

Finally, I have been waiting just for you to say this! xD
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Marissa you can't leave I'll have no one to talk to at the crack of dawn

like
i feel really weird here sometimes too but its like a way i cant explain like happy but sad??? still shitty but a different shitty and maybe not as bad idk what am i saying
i think connor told me this actually its something about throwing them or something

and jessie ily

@Marissa
I know what you're trying to say. You're always welcomed here though. We like having you here. You're a friend, we'll stick with you.

It depends on how hard you throw them.

Wanna see my snowman?

i just feel baaad you have to be my friend sigh
yep that was it
and yes i do

@Marissa
Well, you're stuck with me now.

http://sta.sh/21axxhq1tm44?edit=1 It's a folder full of snowman pics. xD

http://francespsywaffle.deviantart.com/art/Passion-433201514 Not a snowman but, I drew it. xD

i was trying to figure out which girl was your sister and who the other was and then it hit me and i choked and almost died goodbye
anyways your the most precious person
and the drawing isnt loading for me

LOLOL We had a lot of fun though!
Thanks.. xD

There!

frances magaret that is inappropriate shame on u

I put it up with a mature content warning! xD

More appropriate. xD

So basically the whole week I was in trouble Jake claimed he couldn't play his game unless he was on my account (which ended up having a virus and that was why he couldn't play) and I couldn't find out anything he had done because he deleted all my history, and his game killed my account and I had to make a whole new one and re download everything and most of my shortcuts are shot and Mom's pissed at me because she says I start all the fights in this house over the laptop, and earlier this morning Jake was mad because I wouldn't let him on my account and he didn't get his time, because he choose not to have it, and mom says he can have more time since he didn't get to go on which is a crock of bull.

That's all total fucking bullshit.

Me: *sittin' with a handful of my gummy bears*
Dad: *walks in the door* Where'd you get those?
Me: Jeremy, cause work was shit..
Dad: Oh, the fat girl had a bad day, let's give her candy.
Me: ... ... ...
Dad: What's wrong?
Me: ...

Thanks you fucking ass hole.  Like my day hasn't been bad enough.  He was trying to be nice you dick.  You didn't need to go and fucking make stupid jokes about it.  Was it really necessary after you knew I had a shit fucking day at work? and that I had to wait until 12:30 in the afternoon because, Britt's truck broke down. (Not that it was her her fault.) So, I was stuck in the break room and didn't even get home until after noon.  Now, he's all pissed off cause I don't want to talk to him at all.


And, Jordyn's started her thing and it turns out she's a fucking hormonal bitch so, I get to deal with that too. Yay!

I dont really know how to word this without writing a novel of complaints so fair warning for probably a lot of bitching.
I got into an "argument" with my mom and I just told her that I have no ambitions and I dont care about life or school or anything and she took all my stuff away (shes not home atm) and is taking me to get medicated on wednesday because "theres always a way to get better!!!" but i dont even want to anymore i dont want to be alive i dont plan on going to college i have nothing and the only thing ive ever been sure about and planned out is dying because its a fixed point and it HAS to happen, I cant mess that up and I know that people care about me and love me and would miss me but I dont care about me and once im gone i dont get to see how other people are affected and its selfish and I dont care I hate living here and im never gonna have money to leave or anywhere to even go and even if i have my ipod or computer I dont even know if im going to want to talk to people because i can feel that nobody even likes me and i dont blame people i dont like me either and i dont know whats going to happen to me maybe ill go to the hospital or maybe ill get my shit together or maybe ill die i dont know and to be honest i dont care anymore.
So this is to say sorry for having that bit of false "being better" because im not and i probably wont ever be and idk.

It wasnt false or fake, it was a good thing.  It's not your fault your mom is a total bitch and she treats you like shit and ruins all the good things.  I seriously think she's a major part or the problem because she doesn't want to help you at all.  You know I care, I tell you that lots and you know I mean it.  I really do hope things get better for you.  You can come visit then or, I can some see you and we can get drunk together.   You have every right to bitch and sometimes you just need to bitch. Stick your nose in when you can so we know you're hanging in there, that's really important to us, even if you can only say hi sometimes.  It means a lot more than you think.  You have my phone number and can always call, day or night, I don't care when, the ringers always on.